{"id":1950,"date":"2026-05-07T09:12:08","date_gmt":"2026-05-07T14:12:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/?p=1950"},"modified":"2026-05-07T09:43:31","modified_gmt":"2026-05-07T14:43:31","slug":"los-cempasuchiles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/2026\/05\/los-cempasuchiles\/","title":{"rendered":"Los Cempas\u00fachiles"},"content":{"rendered":"

the ancestors always pass down<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

gifts\u2014just open your hand<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

and trust the natural world.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

–<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re here\u2026 <\/span>again<\/span><\/i>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you ain\u2019t realized by now, we don\u2019t always get what we want.\u201d remarks Esa<\/span>,<\/span><\/i> the self-proclaimed leader. \u201cHas Momma taught you anything, <\/span>chica<\/span><\/i>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah, they have. The real question is<\/span><\/i>\u2013<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour acknowledgement would be a great start.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I roll my eyes. <\/span>I can\u2019t acknowledge you<\/span><\/i>\u2026 <\/span>you are a goddamn<\/span><\/i>\u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPeople already judge me for <\/span>what <\/span><\/i>I am, I don\u2019t need them thinking that I\u2019m some looney too.\u201d I hiss through a whisper, my eyes narrowing at the translucent vase of marigolds sitting idly on Nana\u2019s <\/span>chisme <\/span><\/i>table\u2014the headquarters of gossip between the women of my family. Ironic setting for a thing so beautiful.<\/span><\/p>\n

Esa rolls her eyes right back at me. She\u2019s the abrasive one of the marigolds, along with the tallest. I would also like to tell you that she\u2019s the most vivid, although Lunita may be offended by that. \u201cYou still find yourself caring what people think?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t she?\u201d Lunita says, her leaves crossing themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Es importante que intentemos comprenderla. Mierda, Esa, no es como si no fueras un complaciente de la gente en su d\u00eda.<\/span><\/i>\u201d Marisol says. She\u2019s normally bashful when it comes to Esa starting in on me, but maybe the sun got to her today.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or maybe you have just lost your damn mind.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I offer her a thin smile. She reminds me of a few ancestors that still blossom in my memory, despite their entrance in the Spirit World long ago. Vivid manifestation, Spanish tongue\u2014a reincarnation of the past, cultivation of everything that came before and created me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lunita grins. She thinks she\u2019s slick.<\/span><\/p>\n

Esa never likes being challenged by the other marigolds, but this time she concedes with an eye roll.<\/span><\/p>\n

A few moments pass by under the Valley sunset. The three marigolds talk among themselves while I stare off into the abyss of summer. Mosquito hawks begin peopling the front lawn, while the trees groove to the rhythm of the breeze. These are the kind of evenings that have sustained me, even during the most daunting periods when everything felt like one big shitshow.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mami emerges from our <\/span>casita,<\/span><\/i> Mijo, in pursuit behind her. His small, chunky lugs move with haste, his <\/span>pucheros<\/span><\/i> painting his lips. \u201c<\/span>\u00a1Mami, no me dejes! \u00a1No me dejes!<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Ay Mijo, necesito ir a la tienda. Mete tu culito en la ducha<\/span><\/i>,\u201d she waves him off, before turning to me. \u201c<\/span>Mija, aseg\u00farate de que se ba\u00f1e. Voy a la tienda a comprar ingredientes para la cena. Estar\u00e9 en casa en un rato. Cierra la puerta, \u00bfvale?<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I nod.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mijo continues to whine, but relents once Mami raises her voice. I\u2019m zoned out when that happens\u2014<\/span>I tend to disconnect when voices raise. It reminds me of things I\u2019d rather not dwell on<\/span><\/i>. Once I hear the ignition start, I look up at Mijo. His lips are still pouty and the rims of his eyes are moist. \u201c<\/span>\u00a1Mami nos deja! \u00a1Mami nos deja!<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo she ain\u2019t,\u201d I stand up. \u201c<\/span>Mami va a la tienda. Ahora ve a ducharte, cochino<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mijo is reluctant to listen, yet he does anyway. <\/span>Gracias, Dios<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

When he\u2019s back inside, I glance at the marigolds. Observant eyes, they have, just as advanced as their manifestation. The sun sets upon them now, radiating them like candles we pray to every Sunday. <\/span>La luz para guiar a nuestros antepasados<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lunita is too busy enthralled by her Secret, Marisol is whispering her evening prayers, and Esa is staring off into oblivion. I shake my head and proceed to our <\/span>casita,<\/span><\/i> shutting the door behind me. <\/span>I AM NOT CRAZY, I SWEAR TO GOD!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

After I close the door behind me, I hear the shower turning on. I sigh in relief, grateful that I don\u2019t have to be the typical big sister and give my brother hell. Mami does enough of that. Good reason or not, I know what it’s like to be nagged at\u2014and I wish that I had someone growing up who could\u2019ve reduced the nagging for me. <\/span>Oh, don\u2019t I wish for many things.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

While my brother showers, I head into the room Mami and I share. I take my phone from my back pocket and set it on the charger. My initial intention is to then lay down for a few moments, put my brain on a well-deserved pause. But rather, I find myself entering a vortex.<\/span><\/p>\n

A <\/span>DON\u2019T YOU DENY, YOU LITTLE GODDAMN-<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>\u00bfCu\u00e1nto tiempo planeas vivir una mentira?<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re just hearing things, you big fool. You\u2019re already on edge, what the hell do you REALLY expect at this point, chica?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Ay chavalla, s\u00e9 que puedes escucharme<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I gingerly raise my head and see nothing. <\/span>Delusions, delusions, delusions.<\/span><\/i> I take a seat on my bed and rest my hands in my lap.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

You always ask questions, even when answers seem far, far away.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>El secreto, Chiquita. <\/span><\/i>\u00bf<\/span>Qu\u00e9 pasa con eso<\/span><\/i>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Tambi\u00e9n puedes hablar conmigo en ingl\u00e9s,<\/span><\/i> \u00bf<\/span>sabes<\/span><\/i>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00bf<\/span>Por qu\u00e9<\/span><\/i>? \u00bf<\/span>Eres una chica de No Sabo<\/span><\/i>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Soy Chicana<\/span><\/i>.\u201d I\u2019m prouder than I intend to be. \u201cI was raised Chicana, not on some traditional shit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The voice chortles, \u201cThere\u2019s been some dysfunction since I left, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSomething like that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s a shame that I\u2019m not interested in the Dysfunction\u2014my <\/span>chicas <\/span><\/i>already have me up to decent speed-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I look around the room again, this time with even more scrutiny. <\/span>I will find the culprit of this voice. I will find the<\/span><\/i>\u2013<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHm?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I stare into the empty hallway, my eyes vigorous with a brewing apprehension. I hope it isn\u2019t as apparent as I anticipate, but Mami has always said I\u2019m strong with emotional projection, especially in my face.<\/span><\/p>\n

I sigh and repeat, \u201cWhat. <\/span>Are. <\/span><\/i>You.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I come off strong, which I suppose surprises The Voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

It releases a nervous laugh, then states, \u201cI am only what you wish to be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

SHEISFREE. SHEISFREE. SHEISFREE.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m trippin\u2019 out, I\u2019m trippin\u2019 out, I\u2019M TRIPPIN-<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLook outside.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t explain the movement I\u2019m doing now\u2014it\u2019s a contrast between a leap and sprint. In a matter of moments I\u2019m before those marigolds again. I don\u2019t even remember pulling myself from the bed, but I\u2019m here. There\u2019s no time for questions or concerns. I need to find out what this is and what is happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

I grab fistfuls of my abundant hair and look down at the marigolds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Esa is still eyeing the sunset. Lunita is looking at Her still, with pensive eyes of admiration and desire. Marisol acknowledges me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Est\u00e1s de vuelta r\u00e1pidamente<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This gathers the attention of the other two.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just got Mijo settled, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Esa glances at me, raises her observing eye, and winks. \u201cDid you hear It?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My jaw clenches. \u201cHear what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Marisol suddenly looks uneasy. \u201cEsa-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>\u00a1C\u00e1llate!<\/span><\/i>\u201d She shakes. \u201cMarisol, I will handle this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As if talking marigolds ain\u2019t the craziest shit I\u2019ve seen\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Lunita is still remaining silent, but the glint in her eye is vacant. She looks at the ground, gulping. <\/span>This can\u2019t be good.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I feel the vortex thickening\u2014so many things spinning fast, coherence diminishing. I can\u2019t articulate the exact feeling. I am\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe truth,\u201d Esa stands tall among the three marigolds, confident. She looks like a <\/span>jefa. <\/span><\/i>\u201cOr did you not get there yet?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt takes one crazy thing to know another, <\/span>chavalla<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A tear rolls down my cheek.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is going on?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou are what you fear\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cE-Esa-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake hold of me, please.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cE-Esa, <\/span>p-por favor<\/span><\/i>-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarisol!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My hand obeys and I take that marigold in my trembling hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

–<\/span><\/p>\n

Many years later<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s how I knew I was\u2026 Well, <\/span>different<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My granddaughter holds the dried marigolds and offers me a sympathetic look.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maritza must\u2019ve told her already that I\u2019m looney. Shit.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think they\u2019ll do the same for me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cThe same?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me the truth, that is,\u201d my <\/span>mija <\/span><\/i>wonders, twirling her curly brown hair. \u201cDo you think it\u2019ll tell me if I\u2019m different, too?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s only one way to find out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She grabs ahold of the marigolds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, the ancestors deliberate in the Spirit World.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

the ancestors always pass down gifts\u2014just open your hand and trust the natural world. – \u201cYou\u2019re here\u2026 again?\u201d \u201cIf you ain\u2019t realized by now, we<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[30],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1950"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1950"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1952,"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1950\/revisions\/1952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sagebrushreview.org\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}